“For
my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the
Lord. “As the heavens are higher than
the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your
thoughts. As the rain and the snow come
down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making
it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the
eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me
empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I
sent it. You will go out in joy and be
led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine
tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an
everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”
Isaiah 55:8-13
Our lives are about to change
again. One thing that has been constant
over the last four years is change. Life
has changed, and is forever changing and evolving. Lily has been home almost 8 months. Some days it feels like she just got home and
others it feels like she has been mine for a lifetime. Early on in this journey I often wondered
what God’s plan looked like. What His
thoughts were. Early on I realized I had
no idea, and that it was best just to rely on His thoughts and not my own. That wasn’t easy. It hurt more than it helped sometimes, but
something beautiful happened along the way…I learned to Trust. Trust Him, Trust His Plans, Trust His
Way. Because He knew I would get to a
place where I didn’t have anything else to rely on but Him, His Plans, and His
Way. And somehow along the way I
realized His ways were higher than mine, His thoughts were higher than mine,
and that His word would not return empty and void, and if we could just come to
a place of trust, His purpose and plans would receive the glory due only to
HIM.
There is a tree in my garden Brad
planted for me last summer. Plants make
us fight every summer. Because every
summer I buy plants to look like the Better Homes and Gardens magazine and
every fall they die, because I can’t seem to keep things alive. But this one tree I have kept alive…at least
through the winter. After a week of rain
I noticed something this morning. I
noticed small tiny white buds. Those small
tiny white buds will turn into beautiful white flowers that cascade down my
weeping tree, like tears of flowers falling to the ground. I was reminded this morning of how the Lord
will bring beauty after a season of winter.
I have spent many seasons sowing tears for Lily. But over the last eight months, I have seen
buds beginning to grow into her life.
Now, don’t get me wrong…it’s been
hard. She is tough. She is a fighter. She is strong willed, and that is an
understatement. She is determined, she
likes to control and she wants things her way.
That is typically a recipe for disaster when you pair that with a mom,
who shares the same attributes, and then add a sister who is identical to that
mix. Then, you add a father who is just
as strong willed and stubborn but quiet about it. It makes for an interesting life. However, God knew what He was doing. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Therefore we do
not lose heart. Though outwardly we are
wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are
achieving for us an eternal glory that far out weights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but
what is unseen. For what is seen is
temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
We have had to remind ourselves often, this journey is about
change. Changing who we are, and
changing our mindset to become His.
Changing our thoughts to be His, and changing our ways to be His. We have been given a child who comes from a
completely different world. She was
taught completely different things that have become who she is. She has had to fight for everything. With her growing vocabulary comes growing
problems she shares with us. With her
growing words she lets us in to some of the trauma she has experienced in the
life she left behind. The life she left
behind was the only life she knew, so sometimes she also fights to have that
life back, because that life didn’t force her to change, to grow and to be
molded into something new. But one thing
has stayed constant in all this, my Father.
He hasn’t moved, He hasn’t strayed, His Word has remained the same. He meets me where I am each day, and walks it
with me. Some days I wonder if I do more
damage than good in this world. Some
days I wonder if the things I sow into my children will return beautiful buds
or thorns. Some days I wonder if I will
ever get it together. But as I was
reminded this morning in Isaiah that I will be led forth in peace, the
mountains will sing and the trees will clap their hands. Instead of thornbushes, will grow the pine
tree and instead of briers, the myrtle will grow. This will be for His glory and will not be destroyed. What this tells me is we get to trade our
junk for His presence and glory. Each
day we get to trade the ugly of life for His presence and glory. Each day the bad can be turned to good if we
will let Him. Thorns and briers don’t
have to stay…He can turn those into pines and myrtles. We can trade our junk for His glory.
Monday our lives will change once
again. Lily will have her first of a
series of surgeries to correct her legs.
This will not be easy. This
surgery is every bit outside of what we thought would happen or what we thought
we could handle. I hurt for her. I hurt for what she will go through. I have often asked the Lord, why, why was she
made this way? And one day He showed me
it was for His glory. And even in the
last few days I have realized, the disease that has disfigured her body and handicapped her was
the same disease that saved her and allowed her to become part of our
family. She isn’t fully adopted…we are
more than likely years from still finishing that. But God allowed her disability to be the one
thing that gave her clearance for a visa to come home sooner. All the details aren’t worked out, but I
trust in the Alpha and Omega who sees the beginning, the middle, and the
end.
We were in Haiti last week with dear
friends. And as we were spending time
together my sweet friend was telling of a recent visit her dad made to
Haiti. His observation of Haiti was that
it was “unfinished.” That was so
true. Houses are unfinished, the government
processes are unfinished, adoptions are unfinished, construction is constantly
unfinished, and the roads are unfinished.
I could go on and on about what all is unfinished there, but it got me
thinking, I too am unfinished. I have
yet to achieve what the Lord created me to be.
That won’t happen fully until I step into Glory, into my final home,
into Eternity where I belong with Him.
And for that I am thankful I am unfinished. I am thankful I still get to learn and walk
with Him. Because in that walk I realize
how Beautiful He really is and how beautiful this life He created just for
me is if I let Him in. Most days with Lily are hard. I know most pictures show her smiling
face. Her personality is one of true
joy, but hidden beneath is brokenness, brokenness that comes with
abandonment. Brokenness that comes with her
disease, brokenness that comes from being different than us, brokenness that
comes from being ripped out of the world she knew and being forced into a new
one with no control. But in those days
the Lord grows me, grows her and grows us.
I pray we are in the budding stage and one day she will realize
everything sown will result in freedom and unconditional love. When she realizes she had a Father who loved
her enough to fight for her and rescue her and give her too, eternal life.
Please be praying for the long road
ahead of her. And be praying as we
continue to trade our junk for His glory each day we walk this journey with our Lily.
