Those
who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord have never forsaken those
who seek you. Psalm 9:10
Today
has been a good day…yesterday, however, was emotional. Before we started school Anna Lee was doing
her daily devotional. She asked to climb
into my bed to read her Bible, so I let her.
This normally takes her about 10 minutes at the most. A good bit of time had gone by, and I noticed
she hadn’t come out of my room so I went to check on her. I walked down the hall and realized the door
to Lily’s room was open and the lamp was turned on. I peeked in and Anna lee was kneeling at the
foot of Lily’s bed…in prayer. I kept
walking and then lost it. I got it
together and decided I would be the big spiritual parent I should be and go in
and pray with her. Well, I did go in and
sit beside her, but I just cried harder.
She never moved, she never broke posture…deep in prayer. The power of the Holy Spirit in that moment
was felt. I realized she wasn’t going to
be done, and that I wasn’t going to stop crying, so I left her there. After about 15 more minutes she came into the
kitchen announcing she was ready to do school.
She didn’t elaborate on what was done or what she prayed. It was between her and the Lord. Our relationship can handle no explanation
and in that moment I knew my kid was leading me.
Last night as I tucked her in and before
we prayed she said, “Mom, remember God has His right hand over our directions
and His left hand over our hearts.” I
asked her where she heard that she said, “I do have a Bible, mom.” I am still not exactly sure what scripture she
pulled that from or which day in her Jesus Calling for Kids she got that
out of, but in that moment I realized regardless of the decision made today we
would be okay. So many times this child
of mine has led me. So many times God
allows her to change me. So many times I
have been led by her childlike faith.
I was talking with a friend last week
and mentioned that I wish someone would have told me three years ago to let go
and let God take control. Instead of
fretting and pouting and crying and asking why so long, why the wait, I would
have opened my eyes and seen the gift of the family the Lord had given me and
embraced it instead of focusing on how tough the journey has been. I mentioned that I felt like I had wasted too
much time with Anna lee. Well, Anna Lee
over heard the conversation. I should
have known she would have called me out.
When I got off the phone she pointed her finger at me and said we need
to talk. The last time this happened it
caught me off guard…that topic is for a much lighter time! She hopped up on my
kitchen table and with tears in her eyes and all the emotion she could gather
she said, “Yes, the last three years has been tough, it’s been hard, and it’s
been frustrating but we have done it as a family and we will finish it as a
family. And the last three years have
not been wasted! I don’t feel like that
at all. We will get through this.” And she is right. I stand corrected.
We did not get a “yes” from the visa appointment
today, but we also did not get a “no”!
We need to provide them with more info, more documentation…then is looks
very promising. So, like my eight year
old has done consistently for the last three years I will pray, ”Lord take care
of Lily and the other kids at the orphanage today, and Jesus please bring her
home.” And then we will wait. We are at complete peace that the Lord is
fighting this battle. We are at complete
peace that His plans are far better than ours!
And as Psalm 9:10 says I will trust in the name I know. MY LORD AND MY GOD. I am praising my Savior today for coming as a
baby so many years ago, then dying on a cross to save me from my sins, and for
tearing the veil so that I can have direct access to Him. My soul rest and rejoices in Him today! How exciting this journey He has us on
is. How exciting that we get no glory we
just get to participate. It will be by
His hands and His hands only if she comes home, and if she doesn’t how
incredible is it that I know I have a Father who will not leave me or forsake
me and will hold my tears in a golden bowl.
We rejoice either way!
