For this child I have prayed...

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the Lord.  For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”  And he worshiped the Lord there.  1 Samuel 1:27-

The prayer of a parent is powerful!  The scripture above was Hannah explaining to Eli why she was leaving Samuel, as young as he was, with him, in the temple.  She had prayed for this child for so long, only to give him back to the Lord.  I hope to be that kind of parent.  I hope to learn to pray as Hannah did. 

Prayer is the reason Lily is home.  I don’t remember how many times I laid on the floor of Lily’s room crying out to God for her.  I often found Anna Lee in there too, kneeling at the foot of her bed, in prayer.  We all prayed for so long for her.  And when our strength wore thin, when we were ready to give up, we had many people stand in the gap and lift prayers to heaven for us, for her.  There were a few friends I had to confess to…they would send me a text or phone call to let me know Lily was strong on their hearts that day and they were calling out to the lord in prayer for her.  I had to selfishly admit I was grateful, because often times, it hurt too much for me to even say her name.  Prayer is powerful.  Revelation 5:8 talks of our prayers being held in golden bowls which are full of incense, they are sweet-smelling, to our Lord.  My Pastor called a week or so ago to just check on us.  He asked me how I was doing…how I was really doing.  I explained this transition has been rather easy.  That the 4 years leading up to her homecoming has been much harder than the actual transition, and he reminded me of Revelation 5:8 and that many prayers were released to heaven for Lily and many prayers are sitting in golden bowls and those prayers aren’t finished.  They are for forever, and they are still being unleashed.  God is still hearing all of your prayers for us and He is still answering them day after day.

We have had some adjustment, but for the most part the addition of Lily to our family has been one full of joy.  Each day she wakes up, her face is graced with the most incredible big smile and each night she goes to bed that smile is still there.  I am often overwhelmed by how tight she hugs me.  The other night I went to tuck her in bed.  She starts the night off in a hot pink satin sleep cap and she is the most adorable at night.  I reached down to hug her tight and I whispered good night and began to pray for her just as I do most nights with Anna Lee.  (Notice I said “most”, some days life gets the better of me and I drop the ball)  I began to pray to Jesus which is pronounced J-Z in Creole.  We pronounce it this way so she knows WHO we are praying to.  When I said amen I kissed her goodnight.  I thought that was going to be the end of the bedtime routine that night until she pulled me close for one more hug.  Then she began whispering in my ear.  I had no idea what she was saying so I just figured I would let her talk it out.  Then a word came I understood…AMEN!  I have no idea what those little words whispered meant, but there is a golden bowl in Heaven holding it until I do.  It’s in these moments I get overwhelmed by how much God truly loves us, and how much His plans are far better than mine.  I still can’t believe He has given these two children to me.  I still stand in awe in all He has done.  One day I hope to write about the last two trips and what it took to bring her home and the incredible people that stepped in to help make this happen.  God really worked a miracle, but for now this is all I got!

As much as Anna Lee has prayed and been excited for her sister, Lily’s transition has been the hardest on her.  I am thankful she has been to Haiti with us multiple times, because it has given her insight to her sister’s life there.  She has been given an incredible heart, and the Lord knew she would need that to help her along in this transition.  I am so thankful His plans for her life are far better than mine, and His will trumps what I want for her.  I would have left her at home if it was up to me!  She has had 8 ½ years with her mom and dad…all to herself.  Our world revolved around her.  She has had undivided attention for quite some time, so to share mom and dad has been the hardest thing.  But, she has handled it well.  I have prayed for so long the Lord would mold my girls hearts together as one.  I have prayed He would give them such a strong bond it would be unbreakable.  I have prayed they would serve Him together side by side.  I have prayed they would laugh and enjoy one another.  I could add to this list all day long.  Each day I see prayers answered.  Each day my Father shines His grace and mercy on these two.  I don’t know how to girls who for all intense purposes, are so different, yet could be so much the same.  They both love hard. They are both strong-willed and determined.  They both know exactly what they want.  They both have sweet spirits and they laugh with intensity.  They enjoy the same things and they love having a family.  They love their family, and they love to be surrounded by family.  One loves the Lord and one is learning…it’s been pretty incredible to watch.  Last night was the first night they asked to sleep together.  Lily has been home exactly four weeks at 2 am this morning.  This morning I found them snuggled up head to head.  This morning prayers are answered.  This morning my two children are sleeping in the same bed, joined together.  The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.  Lamentations 3:25

I encourage you to pray for your children…Pray boldly for your children.  Pray big prayers for your children.  The lord’s plans for them are far better than any plan we could come up with…and far more rewarding. 

Shameless plug…Mark Batterson has some pretty incredible books on praying.  One being, Praying Circles Around Your Children.   It was a spin-off of The Circle Maker which is another incredible book!

For God So Loved....

For God SO LOVED the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.   John 3:16

I have so many stories to tell.  So many instances of God’s grace and mercy have happened to us during this journey and especially the last few weeks.  But for now, for today, one feeling has been etched in my mind, in my heart and in my soul. I boarded the plane yesterday in Haiti for the fifth time, this time I boarded with my daughter, in my arms.  It was finally today that I realized this has happened…it isn’t a dream, it isn’t make believe.  It is the visions that have been in my mind for quite some time finally coming true. 

Yesterday I sat on a plane…and my daughter, Lily, slept in my arms.  I thought back to the very first time I left Haiti without her.  I opened my journal, and I wrote every single thing I could remember about her.  I didn’t want to forget one memory…Here is what I wrote…

“I know what it feels like to hold my daughter whom I have prayed for so many times.  She holds on tight.  She smiles even though it is tough to pull it out of her.  She has personality even though it is hidden deep inside.  She sucks her hand to sleep.  She hides her right eye with her right hand when she is unsure of what is going on.  She has some feistiness inside her.  She knows what she wants but actions are buried deep inside sometimes.  Her eyes are big and brown.  Her eyelashes curl so much they overlap.  Her eyebrows are bushy.  Her hair smells distinct and sweet.  Her toes are tiny with little knots on them.  She is tiny herself.  She isn’t big at all.  Her right leg is more severe than her left.  She knows what is comfortable and what isn’t.  Her legs have scars.  She sits up just fine and she crawls really well.  She reached for me the first time we saw each other, and by the time we left she was quite comfortable.  We prayed with her before we left and that was the hardest thing we have ever had to do.”

As I held this baby in my arms, all those memories of what I wrote down came flooding back.  I still see every memory alive in her today.  And as I looked at her eye lashes, I flashed back to that first plane ride without her.  She wasn’t there with me, but Jesus was.  Yesterday, Tears flooded my eyes and I held them back as best I could, just as I did that first trip.  But the tears fell yesterday, and not because I was finally bringing this child whom I have loved for what feels like forever home, but because I finally realized what God's love for me really felt like. I love this child so deeply who isn't my blood, who did not grow in my belly, who is not the same color as me and who I have spent less than four weeks with.  It was in this moment that I realized how much my Father in Heaven loves me.  It was in this moment that I realized what adoption into His family really feels like.  It was the first time I felt Him looking at me, the way I was looking at her…and it was overwhelming.  For God SO LOVED me that He gave me Jesus.  That He made a way for me.  That He continually fought for me and did not give up on me when it seemed hopeless.  It was the first time I saw and felt with clear eyes the magnitude of His love for me, and in that moment I could not have felt more like a child cradled in her Father’s arms than Lily did in mine.  I am forever grateful to Him for how Lily’s story has continued.  I am forever grateful to Him for continuing to make a way.  I am forever grateful to Him for bringing her home, because He brought her home. I am most grateful for His continued love to take me deeper and show me more of who He is.  I have some really cool stories about the last two weeks, but the ultimate story is about a Savior who saved my life and continues to carry me through each day with new levels of trust in Him.  Today, I am thankful for His plans, His timing, His mercy and His Grace.  Today I am thankful I am adopted into His family, because His family is eternal, it’s ever lasting, it’s freedom and it’s mine.  Is it yours?