...and they will call him Immanuel...

The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel-which means, “GOD WITH US.” Matthew 1:23

        God with us.  I have been reading back over my prayer journals lately.  My life has changed so much since December of last year.  Sometimes, I need to sit and reflect and look back over just how much the Lord has done.  This Christmas is so much different than last Christmas.  I have two children instead of one.  I recently read Matthew 1:23 and it resonated deep in my heart.  After looking back through a few entries from last December, the promise Isaiah gave all those many years ago are still true today…Immanuel, GOD WITH US.

        December 8, 2014, this was the day before our very first visa appointment for a small possibility for Lily to come home to us.  It was exactly two years since our eyes met for the first time.  I had left her three times at this point.  My heart was broken each time, but each time GOD WAS WITH US.  The very next day our lives could be drastically changed one way or another.  I had friends and family praying, however, there were so many disappointments up to this point that I was scared to get my hopes up that my baby was coming home.  Here is what I prayed on that day…

Father, my Lord and my King help me to keep my focus on you.  Help my heart, my mind, my attitude and my soul to be focused on you.  God, help me to accept whatever decision comes and rejoice that you are the Lord who determines our steps.  God help me to be okay with whatever decision comes.  Lord, help me to be aware of your presence today, tomorrow and the next, and help it to grow and grow strong for you Father.  Help me Lord to know your will and to walk in it.  God I already feel defeated.  Father I feel like we have had so many doors closed in our face that this is just another.  God I don’t feel worthy enough for you and for you to do something good.  God we are nothing without you.  God help me to believe and to have hope.  God strengthen my soul.  God give me confidence to believe and to have hope.  God strengthen my soul.  God give me confidence to believe in your will and your plan.  Father, help me to stand firm.  God help me to be immoveable for you.  Father let this little one come home for you and for your glory.  God you are my one true King, you are my Prize.  Lord let me live as such.  Father settle my thoughts, settle my heart.  God in you let me rest.  God help me to sit before your throne and before your feet.  God let me be Mary instead of Martha.  God help me to grow more in sitting below your feet.  Father heal my spirit today.  Let us be strong in you God.  Let your will your way take over in my life.  Father strengthen me, Make me whole.  Make me who you want me to be.  Father give me grace and mercy and help me to give grace and mercy back.  God be with Lily today.  Lord, watch over her and God protect her mind, her body and her soul.  God her world is about to change.  Father show me what to do to prepare.  God don’t let her be scared.  Father let her embrace this new world, this new challenge.  God, let her feel your love and presence in her life.  Protect her mind and her heart.  God to you be the glory and honor for whatever happens.  Father if it is your will please bring Lily home.  And if it is your will Lord, let everyone know it is from you…Not from Man.  God may we accept whatever way comes, and may we trust in you Almighty.   Amen

The visa was denied…she was not coming home.  But GOD was WITH US.

My prayer December 10, 2014…

Father, I need guidance.  Lord, I need directions from you.  Please guide my feet, show me how to live in dependence of you.  God mold me.  Make me into the person you would have me to be.  God guard my choices, Lord let them be for you.  Father show me if I keep trying to fit things into my way or is it your way.  God show me your direction.  Father show me your path.  God lead my feet on level ground.  Get rid of the confusion Lord, show me your path.  Show me your way…

Parts of my prayer from December 11, 2014…

Father, I come to you this morning, I praise you my Lord and my King.  I am frustrated and confused, but I refuse to be bitter.  Lord, keep bitterness out of my heart.  Keep my eyes on you, on the cross.  Give me a thankful heart.  Let me seek your will your way.  Get rid of selfish ambition and set my feet on your path to Lily God.  God let me have joy, joy in you.  Father I don’t want to start questioning if she is coming home.  God show me she is coming home.  Let me live by Faith today.  Lord, I don’t even know how to fight this anymore.  Show me, teach me, and mold me.  God be with Lily today.  Father, protect her legs.  Let her have smiles and let her feel loved.  God help her to prepare for what’s a head.  God I don’t know how she is coming home but Father you do. God show me how to fight for her.  Father, show me your will your way.

December 14, 2014…I prayed a prayer I thought I would never pray…

Father, my Lord and my King you are my God, my Rock and in you I rest.  God I gave this battle to you, don’t allow me to pick it back up.  God let me be firm on your foundation, your rock, your salvation.  Let me rest in you, your promise and your plans. Father, help me seek your face and help me seek your will.  God let me not fret for things I cannot control.  God you are my help please do not delay.  God if there are things in our life that is holding Lily back God reveal them to us.  God show us what they are.  God change us where we need to be changed.  God let your peace and comfort come.  God I am about to pray a prayer I thought I could never pray.  Father, if Lily will never be a part of our family God please close every door you have open right now.  Please close them so tight man cannot open them. Father please shut them, tight.  Please let us heal and walk with you through the next step.  God everything in me wants to give up but something won’t let me.  God I don’t know how to do this anymore, I need your help.  Help me to see the bigger plan, your plans.  God if this was not your plan all along God please show us.  Make us stronger and more aware of your leading.  God, I thought I heard your voice so clear.  Was I wrong?  Did I miss it?  Father, help me to trust you and help me to seek your will, and your way.  God help us to prepare for whatever you have planned for us and for this family.  God you are our Lord and our King.  God thank you for the blessings of family, our family.  Thank you for the blessings of Christmas, Lord.  Thank you for the freedom we have in You.  I pray for strength and wisdom.  God, I pray for discernment, grace and mercy.  God if your will and your plan is for Lily to be a part of our family in whatever capacity you have planned, Lord, please keep the door opened.  God allow the paperwork to move and the process to keep going.  God I am not strong enough, but Father you are.  God show us what your plans are for Lily and for our family.  God help me to praise you and rejoice in you no matter what happens.  God help bitterness not to take place.  God help me to stand secure in you.  God open my eyes to your plans.  Align our hearts with yours Father and help us to bring glory to you.  It says in your word to believe and to ask and if you believe and ask it will be done.  Father help me to believe.  God, mold me and make me new for you.  Use me, recreate me for you Father.  Put a hymn of Praise on my lips for you God.  Father, I am not ready to quit asking you to bring Lily home.  Father, let me hand the battle back to you, back to my King, where it belongs.  Thank you for friends and family who use your word to encourage and don’t let us give up.  Father be with Lily today, God meet her needs.  Give her smiles.  Father, help her to know we love and care for her.  God help her to know how much she is wanted and how much we need her.  God protect her, love her, fight for her, and move mountains for her.  God strengthen me for her.  God, help me to seek your will above all else and above emotional feelings Lord.  Slow her progressing disease.  Undo the damage that has been done.  Lord, help her to know your love and comfort.  God show us what path to take next, let it be your will your way…

That Christmas we celebrated as a family of three…GOD WITH US.  It was the last Christmas we would celebrate as a family of three.

He will be called Immanuel, GOD WITH US.  Over the next six months God was with us in more powerful ways than I can get into words.  Looking back through my prayers I see where God was with us each step of the way.  Last December was not His timing for Lily to be home.  Three very important families for Lily’s story had not crossed our path yet, one family in Haiti, and two here in the states.  God had bigger plans in store for her journey than we could have ever imagined.  Her story is still being written by Him.  It’s still messy, it’s still unclear.  We have some very difficult days ahead of us, but one thing I know is Immanuel, GOD WITH US will be there every step of the way.   

Christmas paved the way for this miracle.  The miracle of the virgin birth, gave way to the cross, that gave way to the resurrection, that gave way for us to have eternal life in Him, Immanuel, GOD WITH US.

Last weekend we took the kids to a live nativity.  It showed real life events of Christ’s life from the angels’ announcements to the empty tomb.  As I held my promised child, she got a glimpse of THE PROMISED ONE.  She was enthralled by the angels and the nativity scene, but when we came to where Jesus carried our cross on His back, was beaten and bruised, and then hung on a cross, I could see the confusion on her face.  She asked why this happened to Him, in broken English.  And as she watched Him hang on a cross, I could only hold her and cry, because His hanging on a cross paved the way for Life in Him, my life in Him, and life for Lily with us.  Because of God with us, Lily is now with us.  A family of four, done His will and His way…to HIM BE ALL THE GLORY.

The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel-which means, “GOD WITH US.” Matthew 1:23