And a child shall lead them...

Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.” Matthew 18:2-4 Most of my blog has been dedicated to Lily, her journey, our journey…from Haiti, to home, to all the joys and struggles in between. I haven’t written about Anna Lee as often, but she is so much the center of our story. She leaves for New York in roughly 2 months. I have all these emotions, and I feel like my mind is on repeat of all the years of her growing up. People keep asking her, us, are you ready? I know kids move all over the United States all the time, but not little Anna Lee. From Alabama to Up State New York. To new beginnings, new climate, new surroundings, new gym, new coaches new everything. And the emotion that is winning my soul is excitement. So much excitement for her. And this is why. The answer to the questions are you ready? YES, yes she is. Bird, you are ready. And I want to remind you why… Early on in the adoption process we hit several, wait no about 6,280 roadblocks. If you walked with us through our 7 ½ year process you remember. One particular time it was too heavy. Too much to bear. I was at my breaking point, and Brad was at his. I was driving home one day, after picking Anna Lee up from gymnastics, talking on the phone to a close friend pouring my heart out, broken, telling her I was ready to throw in the towel. That it was too much. I couldn’t do it, and I couldn’t carry it anymore. I was done. Anna lee was in the back seat, hearing all of it. I didn’t think she was paying attention much less taking it all in. She was six. A baby. Barely a first grader. Learning addition and subtraction, still homeschooling in nothing but her underwear. She was so little…and fierce. Later that night I was washing dishes. She came into the kitchen and said, “Mom, I need to talk to you,” She jumped up on the table sat down on top of it, her little legs swinging over, and got face to face with me. I will never forget the words that came next. She said in one long sentence, “We started this as a family, and we will finish this as a family. We are not throwing in the towel.” That was it. The end of it. Nothing left to say. Her point was made. And I am pretty sure she was in nothing but her underwear. That was the moment I never looked back. I never again questioned throwing in the towel. It was amost 3 more years before lily came home, but not one time did I ever go back to the place of throwing in the towel. Bird was the reason for opening our eyes to Lily. I am pretty sure I wrote the story way back in my blog journey all those years ago, but a quick retell here. When we started the adoption journey we had planned on an older child, without a complicated medical history. I can remember telling our social worker that, "we just weren’t equipped to handle a wheelchair kiddo." I feel like the Lord was looking at us just shaking His head, saying just wait….the plans I have for you. One day I was looking through the waiting children. Little Lily’s face caught my eye. She was so tiny and beautiful. Her description gave enough info that I knew her medical story would be a lot. Anna lee, 5 at the time, was sitting on the couch behind me watching tv…in her underwear. I casually asked her, “what if your sister was in a wheelchair?” She never missed a beat. She said, “Well we buy her a purple wheelchair, we make sure we have games and puzzles for her to do on the floor, we do this and that….” she had an answer for every single thing I threw at her. She never stumbled, she never questioned, it was what it was. Some scripture came to me in that moment, “If you never humble yourself like a child, you will never see the kingdom of heaven.” Here was my little red headed baby, full of fire and boldness, ready to conquer this without even the slightest hesitation. I started praying for Lily. That she would find her family. That they would find her. That her life would be all God intended for her, and that she would experience love and healing. I prayed for 3 weeks for our girl to find her family, because we were not it. One night in a Wednesday night service, I was worshipping praying for this baby I did not know. I remember so clearing the Lord telling me, “She is your daughter, your child, and I will bring her home.” I remember responding with, “I have been praying for weeks…why are you just now telling me this.” His reply, “Because this is the first time you have stood still to listen.” That wrecked me all the way around. Again, if it wasn’t for my feisty little red head full of spit fire and life, I don’t know that I would have fully listened, stopped, and dug into what our journey would be. A child shall lead them. The next August we loaded up our 7 year old red head and she flew to Haiti to meet her sister for the first time. Brad and I had already made two trips in less than 6 months at this point. Haiti isn’t the safest by far. Look her and her people up in the news right now, and what you will see is heartbreaking. It is a complete mess right now. I was so scared to take her. I remember calling my dad, a retired police officer, and Anna Lee’s best friend. Her partner in crime, one of her favorite people. I knew he was going to tell me to leave her home, not to take her, and I would be off the hook. I was sitting on my porch swing, (one that was delivered to me from Bill Wood, a senior saint at our church, his wife prayed Lily home, he delivered that swing the day after Christmas, the day before we left for our first trip to Haiti, the one I was most terrified of, and when that swing showed up I knew the lord would let me come back home to sit on it, because He wouldn’t let Bill make it and deliver it if I wasn’t…yes I know I am crazy) and I asked my dad if I should take her, and I knew he would tell me no. His response, “Jennifer she is safer in the Lord’s will than with you here in Hueytown. She could be killed in Ensley just as easily as Haiti. If the Lord has this planned for her, there is no need to worry.” I packed her bag. That trip was magical. Doors were opened because we took her. Friends were made, she walked those streets of Haiti like she owned the place. One day the bus didn’t show up to take us to the orphanage. Probably wasn’t the safest plan to walk the four blocks to the orphanage in the middle of Port au Prince, but guess who was the most excited about the experience…Bird. She danced them streets, with the biggest smile on her face. One day in the orphanage, I couldn’t find her. This place has no running water, spotty electricity at best, smells get you every time, the gates are tall and can look scary with all the barbed wire and broken glass. I panicked for a half a second. Then found her huddled up with the kids shoeless. She was barefoot, and for a minute I was like nope get your shoes on, you gonna get worms, you gonna get the bots (IYKYK), all the things, then I looked at her sweaty red face with her sweaty red hair plastered to it, and turned and let her be. Left her right where she was in the middle of new friends. There is a picture of her holding one of the tiniest babies in the nursery back then. She was so little herself and still sweaty and barefoot. You take your shoes off where you are comfortable. She was in her comfort zone. In the middle of mess and brokenness and chaos and she took her shoes off. She wasn’t glued to my hip, she had cornrows and friends, and was barefoot. That was by far my most favorite trip. The Lord stretched my parenting, and showed me who this spit fire of a kid would be. Two years later, lily was finally home, and we were all headed back to Haiti. Minus Lily because 1) she wasn’t adopted, 2) she wasn’t a citizen 3) she had external fixaters on 4) I wasn’t sure she would get back into the U.S. 5) a million more reasons. We were flying out of Atlanta, meeting Brad’s parents to drop off Lily while the three of us flew to Haiti. Anna Lee was older, knew the risks associated with going this time, had some fears, some very real big fears. Let’s just say she was terrified this time to go. She had some very real fears and struggled through this decision to go. We told her she didn’t have to make this trip. That if she bailed it would be totally fine and totally her decision. She had up until the moment we handed lily off to decide to dip out and spend the week with grandparents, or go with us to Haiti. It took her to the very last minute of them driving off with Lily to decide she was going…to Haiti. I have a picture of her on the plane writing in her prayer journal, prayers of safety and hope. Then another I snapped as the Haitian landscape came into view, she was in a purple purple shirt, messy red hair, and the biggest smile spread on her face as we landed. Again, my brave girl paving her own way. It was her decision, she decided for herself to face her fear. She knew Who to go to being so little. One of the hardest things about the journey was telling Lily goodbye each time before she came home. We told her goodbye six whole times before she came home with us on the 7th. I watched Bird tell her sister bye 3 of those trips. And that wrecked me. It didn’t get easier. The first time I remember having to pull her into the van. She was so little, so broken, the sobs that came were gut wrenching. I couldn’t cry because I knew if I did, we would never make it back home. She was still wrecked when we made it back to our guest house. She couldn’t get it together. The pain of not knowing when the tiniest of babies who needed us was coming home was almost too much for me, much less a 7/8 year old. I scooped her up, and we headed for the shower. The cold shower, no hot water. And we cried. We talked through that cold shower of what trusting Jesus with Lily really looked like. She cried. I cried inside. And that memory was the worst one I have of all my times in Haiti. One child a broken mess, and she didn’t even know because it was all she knew, and one child a broken mess because she did know and knew that might be the reality for a very long time, and possibly forever at that point. We dried off, put on our pjs, packed our bags and flew home the next day. She was brave. So brave. Even through the heartbreak and brokenness. Fast forward Lily came home. Lots of things. You can read past blogs and see all the struggles, heartbreak, and joys of this journey. But anna lee. She has been the constant. She has filled in all the gaps for lily. She has never lowered the bar for her. That is why Lily is the fierce competitor she is today. Because her sister never let her win, until she did and not because she let her. She slept with her for years, and gave her comfort and peace. She has been her protector, her advocate, her fight when she couldn’t. They have a bond that is unbreakable. They fight, and they love. And they will form a force and turn on you together in a hot minute. They are sisters in every sense of the word. On December 20, of 2019 Anna Lee led her sister to the Lord. I had a front row seat. One night while we were reading our Christmas devotion, Lily began asking all the questions. And I sat back, and watched my fierce little red head, lead her sister to the Lord. And a child shall lead them. Anna Lee, you are ready. Because you have already done hard. You have already experienced so much through this journey Dad and I picked for you, that you had no choice in. You didn’t ask for the hard we threw at you, yet you rose to the occasion. You let Jesus lead you. You have not grown bitter at circumstances; you embrace them and conquer. Gymnastics has always been your escape, your safe place. That and Jesus. Those collided for you. For your next journey. So the next time someone ask you if you are ready, you ask them back is New York ready for you? Ready for red head Alabama to blaze her trail. You are ready kiddo. And we are so incredibly excited to watch this next journey of life and you to conquer and experience all God has planned for you. If you ever question your abilities look back, at all you have experienced, been through, conquered, seen, overcome, and your title of sister. You have been all those things and so much more. Lily could not have a better sister, better fighter, better advocate, better foe or friend. You elevate her, point her to all the right things, and love her fiercely. You are ready for what is ahead. Just don’t do it in your underwear. Insert wink emoji’s. And forgive me because I know you are gonna be big mad about that last sentence. Insert another wink emoji. Go live big Bird, and come back…preferably not liberal, insert wink emoji. We are so incredibly proud of you. Go be a child that leads…