See, I
am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a
way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19
Anna
Lee has been seeing vacation bible school signs for weeks close to our home, at
the church I grew up in. She has been
begging to go. She doesn’t know a soul
there and has already been to bible school at our church, so for the sake of
adding something else to my schedule, I decided I would try to direct her
attention to something else. Praise God
my Heavenly Father allows my six year old to continue to teach me and continue
to have a passion for Him that surpasses my “schedules”. Little did I know what she would be learning this
week at bible school was really for me.
I should have been the one being dropped off at bible school this week,
not Anna Lee. The theme for this bible
school, from what I have been taught from Anna Lee, is God’s love helps us
STAND STRONG. Standing strong for God has been my weak
point lately. I have been too busy
questioning, whining and asking God all the wrong questions, instead of
Standing Strong in His Word and in Him.
I was too busy wallowing in self pity and self-righteousness, to just Stand
Strong and Stand firm in the Word that has poured life into my soul so many
times before and it took my six year old, in the car on the way home from Bible
school last night to remind me Who God IS.
She asked my last night, “Mom how can you stand strong for God? Mom, how
can you stand strong to teach me and Lily to grow up and love God and tell
others about Jesus? Mom, how do you stand strong when the hard times come? Well in a matter of 2 minutes the Lord had
humbled me, forgiven me and comforted me, and then realigned my attitude to the
place it needed to be. Praise God my six year old didn’t back down from going
to bible school at a church she doesn’t know and with people she had never met. (I want to insert some sarcasm here to all
those folks who said homeschooling would make my child socially unfit and shy…NOT
THE CASE!)
Let me bring you up to speed why my
attitude has been so in the dumps…we had hit a wall with our adoption agency…God
took care of that and we were back on track.
God made a way and provided in ways only He could do. He opened doors again for us, and we have
finished our home study and are waiting on the final copy to be sent to us for
approval and then back to the agency for approval. At that point immigration can be sent off and
we can begin to send our paperwork to Haiti.
Please continue to pray these hurdles will be overcome. All of that in short seems a bit
overwhelming, but that is not where we really need prayer. I have known for some time that prayer and a
miracle from God will be the only way our child will come home. We are learning quickly that Haiti is not a
cut and dry adoption journey. There is
waiting, lots of waiting, possibly years of waiting. I have learned there are rules and
regulations for Haiti, but they change in the drop of a hat and just because
there are rules that doesn’t mean they are followed. They get in no hurry and they are a proud
nation and proud people. They have
survived many many things in the history of their country, and they are very
proud of that, as they should be.
However, they are also a spiritually dark country, and they don’t have
the hope in a Savior as we do.
We have fallen in love with a little
girl. Her name is Lily. Just
like Anna Lee she has already taught our family so much, and we have loved and
prayed for her as she is our own. If she
never comes into our family, she has been my child for 9 months in my heart. I have prayed for her as any mother
would. I have dreamed about her as any
mother dreams of their children. I have
planned and prayed for her future just as I have planned and prayed for Anna
Lee’s (although I know I really have no say in their future). I have woken up many nights in the middle of
the night and wondered if she is sleeping okay, and I have longed for the day I
can peek in her room and touch her. She
has a condition that has caused her to not be able to walk. It is a good possibility she will be in a
wheelchair the rest of her life. Only
God knows the outcome of her condition, but we already love her just the way
she is. I wonder if she is often in
pain, and who is there to rub her legs when they hurt, or comfort her? Then as Anna lee reminded me last night, God
is there for her. God sees her, she is
His child first. He will provide for
her, He will make a way in the desert for her and he will give her streams in
her wasteland.
Haiti has made the decision to start
matching children with the new adoption laws that have recently gone into
place. We are not sure how much say we
will have in this process. I have
grieved over the fact that they could tell us no to little Lily. I have played the scenario over and over
again in my mind. I have tried to
prepare myself for both ways this could go.
I have tried this and that, but somewhere along the way “I” got in the
way of “Him”. I have been trying to fix
it, when I can’t, instead of taking it to the ONE who can, the ONE that already
knows the outcome and plans for this family.
I know the ONE that is in
ultimate control of this process. I know
the. ONE who sets the lonely in families.
I know the ONE who defends the fatherless. I know the ONE who died on a cross and endured
pain, and shame and punishment, the pain and shame and punishment that I
deserve, not Him. I know the ONE who
conquered death and rose again. I know
the ONE who split the Red Sea. I know
the ONE who led the Israelites through the desert by fire and cloud. I know the ONE who rained manna from
Heaven. I know the ONE who heals all
disease. I know the ONE who rescued
Jonah from the belly of the whale. I
know the ONE who rescued Paul and Silas from the jail at the midnight
hour. I know the ONE who has already given
me one beautiful daughter who continues to amaze me each day, and I know the
ONE who will give me another daughter even when there seems to be no streams in
the wastelands and no way in the desert.
So,
Anna lee, my sweet child who I love more each day, and I hope to be as bold as
you one day! The answer to your question,
my dear, on how am I going to Stand Strong for God? I am going to have your faith, a child like
faith. You already refer to Lily as your sister. You believe God is going to
bring her home. You have been the one
praying for her and pleading her case.
You have Stood Strong. You have
not wavered in the child God has placed in our hearts and in our home for this
time. Neither will I. I believe God will bring Lily home , whether
that be our home, or someone else’s she will come home. Whether that be in 2 months 2 years or 10
years, she will come home. I will
patiently wait for the moment I get to wrap my arms around our child for the first
time. I will patiently wait for the
first time I get to see my husband’s face when he looks at his daughter for the
first time. I will patiently wait for
the time I get to introduce Anna Lee to the sister she has consistently prayed
for day after day. I will patiently wait
for God’s timing, His perfect timing. And
in the meantime of the waiting I will listen to Anna Lee and STAND STRONG. I will share God’s love and how His Word
allows us to STAND STRONG even when we feel angry and afraid and powerless and
worried and ashamed. As Anna Lee has
learned this week, “I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength!”
Philippians 4:13
I
think we need Bible School for Grown Ups!
Please
continue to pray for God to make a way in the desert for us. Selfishly pray for Lily to be ours and to
come home. Selfishly pray for doors to
open up in Haiti and for all the adopting families to bring these kids home
faster than the 3 year wait time they have to endure due to the adoption
process. Pray for miracles to happen
because that is what is going to have to happen. But, pray for God’s will to be done
regardless of the outcome and whatever happens that HE WILL STILL BE GLORIFIED
AN WE WILL STILL STAND STRONG…HOWEVER LONG THIS WAIT MIGHT BE!
