STANDING STRONG

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.  Isaiah 43:19

          Anna Lee has been seeing vacation bible school signs for weeks close to our home, at the church I grew up in.  She has been begging to go.  She doesn’t know a soul there and has already been to bible school at our church, so for the sake of adding something else to my schedule, I decided I would try to direct her attention to something else.  Praise God my Heavenly Father allows my six year old to continue to teach me and continue to have a passion for Him that surpasses my “schedules”.  Little did I know what she would be learning this week at bible school was really for me.  I should have been the one being dropped off at bible school this week, not Anna Lee.  The theme for this bible school, from what I have been taught from Anna Lee, is God’s love helps us STAND STRONG.    Standing strong for God has been my weak point lately.   I have been too busy questioning, whining and asking God all the wrong questions, instead of Standing Strong in His Word and in Him.  I was too busy wallowing in self pity and self-righteousness, to just Stand Strong and Stand firm in the Word that has poured life into my soul so many times before and it took my six year old, in the car on the way home from Bible school last night to remind me Who God IS.  She asked my last night, “Mom how can you stand strong for God? Mom, how can you stand strong to teach me and Lily to grow up and love God and tell others about Jesus? Mom, how do you stand strong when the hard times come?  Well in a matter of 2 minutes the Lord had humbled me, forgiven me and comforted me, and then realigned my attitude to the place it needed to be. Praise God my six year old didn’t back down from going to bible school at a church she doesn’t know and with people she had never met.  (I want to insert some sarcasm here to all those folks who said homeschooling would make my child socially unfit and shy…NOT THE CASE!) 

        Let me bring you up to speed why my attitude has been so in the dumps…we had hit a wall with our adoption agency…God took care of that and we were back on track.  God made a way and provided in ways only He could do.  He opened doors again for us, and we have finished our home study and are waiting on the final copy to be sent to us for approval and then back to the agency for approval.  At that point immigration can be sent off and we can begin to send our paperwork to Haiti.  Please continue to pray these hurdles will be overcome.  All of that in short seems a bit overwhelming, but that is not where we really need prayer.  I have known for some time that prayer and a miracle from God will be the only way our child will come home.  We are learning quickly that Haiti is not a cut and dry adoption journey.  There is waiting, lots of waiting, possibly years of waiting.  I have learned there are rules and regulations for Haiti, but they change in the drop of a hat and just because there are rules that doesn’t mean they are followed.  They get in no hurry and they are a proud nation and proud people.  They have survived many many things in the history of their country, and they are very proud of that, as they should be.  However, they are also a spiritually dark country, and they don’t have the hope in a Savior as we do. 

        We have fallen in love with a little girl.  Her name is Lily.   Just like Anna Lee she has already taught our family so much, and we have loved and prayed for her as she is our own.  If she never comes into our family, she has been my child for 9 months in my heart.  I have prayed for her as any mother would.  I have dreamed about her as any mother dreams of their children.  I have planned and prayed for her future just as I have planned and prayed for Anna Lee’s (although I know I really have no say in their future).  I have woken up many nights in the middle of the night and wondered if she is sleeping okay, and I have longed for the day I can peek in her room and touch her.  She has a condition that has caused her to not be able to walk.  It is a good possibility she will be in a wheelchair the rest of her life.  Only God knows the outcome of her condition, but we already love her just the way she is.  I wonder if she is often in pain, and who is there to rub her legs when they hurt, or comfort her?  Then as Anna lee reminded me last night, God is there for her.  God sees her, she is His child first.  He will provide for her, He will make a way in the desert for her and he will give her streams in her wasteland. 

        Haiti has made the decision to start matching children with the new adoption laws that have recently gone into place.  We are not sure how much say we will have in this process.  I have grieved over the fact that they could tell us no to little Lily.  I have played the scenario over and over again in my mind.  I have tried to prepare myself for both ways this could go.  I have tried this and that, but somewhere along the way “I” got in the way of “Him”.  I have been trying to fix it, when I can’t, instead of taking it to the ONE who can, the ONE that already knows the outcome and plans for this family.   I know the ONE that is in ultimate control of this process.  I know the. ONE who sets the lonely in families.  I know the ONE who defends the fatherless.  I know the ONE who died on a cross and endured pain, and shame and punishment, the pain and shame and punishment that I deserve, not Him.  I know the ONE who conquered death and rose again.  I know the ONE who split the Red Sea.  I know the ONE who led the Israelites through the desert by fire and cloud.  I know the ONE who rained manna from Heaven.  I know the ONE who heals all disease.  I know the ONE who rescued Jonah from the belly of the whale.  I know the ONE who rescued Paul and Silas from the jail at the midnight hour.  I know the ONE who has already given me one beautiful daughter who continues to amaze me each day, and I know the ONE who will give me another daughter even when there seems to be no streams in the wastelands and no way in the desert. 

So, Anna lee, my sweet child who I love more each day, and I hope to be as bold as you one day!  The answer to your question, my dear, on how am I going to Stand Strong for God?  I am going to have your faith, a child like faith. You already refer to Lily as your sister. You believe God is going to bring her home.  You have been the one praying for her and pleading her case.  You have Stood Strong.  You have not wavered in the child God has placed in our hearts and in our home for this time.  Neither will I.  I believe God will bring Lily home , whether that be our home, or someone else’s she will come home.  Whether that be in 2 months 2 years or 10 years, she will come home.  I will patiently wait for the moment I get to wrap my arms around our child for the first time.  I will patiently wait for the first time I get to see my husband’s face when he looks at his daughter for the first time.  I will patiently wait for the time I get to introduce Anna Lee to the sister she has consistently prayed for day after day.  I will patiently wait for God’s timing, His perfect timing.  And in the meantime of the waiting I will listen to Anna Lee and STAND STRONG.  I will share God’s love and how His Word allows us to STAND STRONG even when we feel angry and afraid and powerless and worried and ashamed.  As Anna Lee has learned this week, “I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength!” Philippians 4:13

I think we need Bible School for Grown Ups! 

Please continue to pray for God to make a way in the desert for us.  Selfishly pray for Lily to be ours and to come home.  Selfishly pray for doors to open up in Haiti and for all the adopting families to bring these kids home faster than the 3 year wait time they have to endure due to the adoption process.  Pray for miracles to happen because that is what is going to have to happen.  But, pray for God’s will to be done regardless of the outcome and whatever happens that HE WILL STILL BE GLORIFIED AN WE WILL STILL STAND STRONG…HOWEVER LONG THIS WAIT MIGHT BE!