Refined by Fire

    Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade-kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  IN THIS YOU GREATLY REJOICE THOUGH NOW FOR A LITTLE WHILE YOU MAY HAVE HAD TO SUFFER GRIEF IN ALL KINDS OF TRIALS.  THESE HAVE COME SO THAT YOUR FAITH-OF GREATER WORTH THAN GOLD, WHICH PERISHES EVEN THROUGH REFINED BY FIRE-MAY BE PROVED GENUINE AND MAY RESULT IN PRAISE, GLORY AND HONOR WHEN JESUS CHRIST IS REVEALED.

                                                       1 Peter 1:3-7

       Our journey has come to a screeching halt.  We have hit a road block, a detour, a yield sign.  For the better part of two months, nothing has made sense.  Haiti is a broken system, a broken country, one of spiritual darkness.  The agency we have been working with has lost sight of this, and lost sight of the brown eyed girl we have been fighting for, since God revealed to us she is to be our daughter.  I thought the fight we would have on our hands would be one with the Haitian government, since the process is not streamlined there as it is in other countries.  It is a very long process.  This road to Haiti is filled with lots of ups and downs.  Little did I know these ups and downs would not come from the country of Haiti, but come from the very ones who were supposed to be advocating for our brown eyed baby girl.  However, as broken down as we are about that, that is not what I want to pour my heart out about.  I want to pour my heart out about the ONE who has refined our Faith through fire, which can only result in Praise, Glory and Honor.  I want to pour my heart out about the only ONE that matters throughout this journey and that is my Lord and Savior, my Heavenly Father, my Protector, my Comforter, my Sword and my Shield.  My King, the one that sits on a throne, whose ways are perfect, who knows just what I need, who refines my faith through fire and trails, who strengthens me when I am at my weakest, who continues to allow me to walk this journey, even when it is too painful to carry on.   Who gives me blessing amongst the pain, who loves me even when I am not obedient, who cherishes me even when I am ready to give up, who predestined me to walk this journey even though He knows all my past failures and past mistakes.  He is a God of redemption, full of Mercy and Grace.  This is my Lord my King.  This is my father, who says, “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now is springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19 I chose to stand on the living breathing word of God.  I chose to put my faith and trust in a King who provides a way through the desert and streams in a wasteland.  My daughter is living in a wasteland.  My God is doing a new thing.  I chose today to rejoice in His word. 

       We had the opportunity to welcome our very good friends’ home last weekend from China.  They stepped off the plane with a new little boy, named Reece.  He is even more beautiful than we imagined.  The joy was unexplainable.  I watched this family labor and work to get this little boy home for 11 months.  Their joy was made complete in this one moment.  As my little family drove home from the airport that night, my six year old began to cry.  She began to ask us why our little girl might not be coming home.  My husband and I had a choice to make right then and there.  We could choose to teach her anger and misery, or we could choose to teach her to trust in a God whose ways are higher than ours.  At that moment the Lord showed us that He is good and just, regardless if our little girl comes home or not.  That He is still Lord, and He still sits on the throne and even through heartbreak and heartache, He is still GOOD.  He is still worthy to be praised.  He is still worthy of our trust and our adoration.  He is still in control, and He is still the ONLY ONE that we should put our trust and faith in, because He is the only one that can refine us through fire. 

       These last few months have been painful, but God has sprinkled so many blessings amongst the pain.  I have seen the depth of the man I married eight years ago.  I stand in awe of him, and that God made him just for me.  There was a moment where I was at my lowest, that I saw my husband’s compassion for others.  I had been praying between myself and the Lord that He would strengthen my husband’s walk with Him.  I heard a statement this past weekend at a youth camp we attended.  It was said, “That the soft heart of compassion is the heart of Jesus.”  I realized my sweet husband’s depth in the Lord was deeper than I ever realized.  He has the heart of Jesus, a heart of compassion.  My husband’s compassion overwhelms me, and I might have not seen this in him had we not walked through the fire.  My mom’s prayer life has been strengthened, for the first time in 15 plus years, she has been able to plead the case of her daughter, and see her prayers answered.  I have seen my husband grow strong in the Lord, and carry me when I couldn’t carry myself anymore.  The blessings I have received through the fire are too many to recount.

       In Exodus 17 the Israelites were attacked by the Amalekites.  Moses went to stand on the top of a hill with the staff of God in his hands.    Joshua and his Israelite army began fighting the Amalekites.  Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill with Moses.  As long as Moses kept his hands held up in the air the Israelites were winning the war, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.  Eventually his hands grew tired, and he couldn’t hold them up any longer.  When Moses finally grew tired Aaron and Hur took a stone and put it under Moses for him to sit.  Aaron and Hur then held Moses hands up-one on one side, and one on the other-so that his hands remained steady till sunset.  Joshua and the Israelite army overcame the Amalekites and the battle was won. 

       So many times, my arms have fallen, and I have felt so defeated.  I felt as if my arms couldn’t even be raised, and that I couldn’t fight the battle anymore.  Just like Moses, I have grown weary and tired, and couldn’t hold myself up any longer.  Praise the Lord for the Aarons and Hurs in my life.  Just when I couldn’t hold my hands up anymore to fight, they came along side me and fought for me.  They prayed when I didn’t have the strength.  They poured the living Word of God into my life when I didn’t have the strength to read.  They encouraged me when the battle felt like it was being lost.  One particular moment that will forever be etched on my heart was when a very dear friend sat in the floor of our church hallway, almost in the exact spot of where I met her for the first time over six years ago, and prayed with tears that refreshed my soul.  She pleaded our case, she pleaded little Lily’s case before our God.  In the background our praise team was practicing for Sunday and they just happened to be singing a song that echoed many of the Psalms…The God of Angel Armies is ALWAYS by my side.  I was strengthened beyond human strength that night.  The fight inside me was renewed. In my weakness my God’s strength flowed within me.  She was my Aaron that night, she was my Hur.  It never seemed to amazed me that just when  I needed reviving most, my phone would go off with a text message from a friend who sent me scripture, and it followed with, “God put it on my heart to send this to you today.”  I am amazed at how God uses His people.  I am amazed at how my God works.  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9 “So is my word that goes out from my mouth; It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11   Praise God that He will accomplish what He desires for the Dobson family.  He will achieve it for His purpose, and I trust in that.  I trust that His ways are much better than mine.  I trust that His will is perfect even when it doesn’t align with mine.  I trust that He knows what I need, what this family needs, not just what we want.  I will rest and rejoice in that today. 

       There is a small window of Hope that we have to still bring this sweet baby home.  It will be nothing short of a miracle of God if little Lily gets to come home, but we trust in His perfect timing and His perfect ways.  BUT one thing is for certain…whether she comes home or not God is still God, God is still good, and HE IS STILL SEATED ON THE THRONE!

Please be in prayer for our family!  That we will continue to be refined by fire, and walk by the faith that is strengthened each day!