I Believe In Him!

I will bless the Lord at all times;

His praise will always be on my lips.

Psalm 34:1

        I have a sign that I made with Psalm 34:1 in big blue letters.  It sits on my mantle in my living room.  I purposely made this sign at a time that I did not want to bless the Lord.  Especially during this time, I did not want to praise Him.  I just didn’t.  A while back I realized this about myself.  I realized I read a lot of scripture…I spent time in His word, but yet I didn’t take Him at His word.  I began praying during this time for the Lord to make me aware of this unbelief in my life.  To get rid of the mistrust and the bitterness that had taken place of the Joy I had once felt for Him in my life.  I needed my hope back, my hope in Him.  I didn’t need to have hope that everything would work out, miracles would happen and Lily would come home, I needed my hope in His love, His comfort, His perfect plan for my life and my family.  I needed to take my eyes of earthly things, and place them on the one who sits on the throne.  I prayed that His hope would once again invade my life, and my heart. It took some searching, some self evaluation, and some eye opening realizations about myself but somehow little by little He started changing my heart, my soul, my feelings and little by little my joy returned.  During this time, I will be honest…I haven’t done much praying for Lily to come home anymore.  It just hurt too much.  It stung to say her name.  It hurt to see how she could fit so perfectly, so easily into our home, our lives at this very moment.  However, as a sweet friend always reminds me it just isn’t time.  It doesn’t mean that is sucks any less, it just means we have to wait a little longer.  Today, I am thankful for the longer, because in the longer He has changed me.  He has made me aware of all the internal feelings that need to be changed.  He has made me aware of so much more that needs pruning and for that I am grateful.  I am a jar of clay, ready to be molded, ready to be changed.  When we started this journey we didn’t want change.  We wanted to fit this child into our life instead of our lives into hers.  WOW, we had no idea what God had planned.  I see the big picture now.  I feel the big picture now.  I stand in awe at my God and My Savior who fits the big picture together perfectly in His timing and His plans.  It took me awhile to just Bless the Lord at all times, and sing His praises each day, not because of what He does or can do for me, but just simply because of Who He is and Who I am not.  He is the great "I AM".  He is the Alpha and Omega.  He closes in the oceans and tells the waves where to go.  He sees the stars that are tucked away for no eye to see just yet.  He knows every planet and its purpose.  He is timeless and His Mercy is ever ending.  He is the answer to every earthly problem, yet He loves us enough to not force Himself on us.  He sits patiently waiting for us to come to Him, and when we do, He opens His arms wide.  The same arms He stretched out for us on the cross to cover all the gross nasty sin in my life.  He has a forever home tucked away until the time He chooses to reveal it to us, and on top of all that He is everything we need if we just let Him be.  His plans are perfect and His timing is spot on, whether we agree or not.  

        Last week we had a very important document that needed to be translated.  This was the last document we needed to obtain to get an even more important document.  I know enough about the Haitian lifestyle to know they don’t get in much of a hurry for anything, except when they get behind the wheel of a car.  That makes no sense to me, but it is what it is.  I have a very sweet friend who translated a lot of Bible School Material for us to take on our last trip a couple of months ago…and it was last minute too.  I sent her a message explaining the situation and basically explained we are at her mercy and would pay top dollar to get this document translated.  She is a working wife, a mother with a full list of responsibilities.  I knew I was dropping a load on her lap.  I am going to dialogue our conversation:

Me: Hello!  I hope you are doing good!! I wanted to check and see if you wanted a paying job this time!! We need a medical document translated to pick up an exit letter to file for Lily’s visa.  We are getting closer but they are taking an extremely long time getting things translated, so I wanted to see if you were interested.  We are desperate!  Name your price!  If you are interested I can send you the document!! Thanks so much!!

My sweet friend:  Send me the letter, sweet friend!  I’ve got a Father in Heaven who pays well.  My heart is with you and your family.  Lily will be home soon!  I declare it in the Name of Jesus.  I’m feeling the Lord in me in my car as I’m typing this in a traffic jam.  She’s come home!

She went on to send me scripture…2 Cor 12:9. She has consistently sent me scripture since our first exchange.   

 I was reading this morning and came across Psalm 119:28, “My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your Word.”  She has fulfilled this scripture time and time again.  She has poured into my soul scripture that has strengthened and encouraged.  After a few other exchanges through messaging we both went on about our days.  A couple days later I received this message from her….

My Sweet friend:  Last Friday when I got your message about the letter to translate, I was on my way to meet two of my friends for dinner.  One of them, (insert her name here) was very touched by the story and has been fasting and praying for Lily ever since.  Know you have many prayer warriors standing in the gap and lifting up your tired hands.  Let me know ASAP when the visa appointment is.  (Insert her friend’s name here) and I will be praying and fasting.  God has this and we are expecting great things.  Love you!!!

Then she sent me Phil 4:4-8 with some very powerful encouraging words. 

Let me explain something…this sweet friend doesn’t know my middle name, she doesn’t know where I live, and she has never met my family.  She doesn’t know what church I attend, or what I do for a living.  She doesn’t know much about me except the struggle I have shared with her about Lily.  She knew I needed Bible School Material translated, and now she is translating many documents for our visa appointment and she hasn’t asked for anything in return.  That, my friends is the Love of the Father.  That, my friends is iron sharpening iron.  That, my friends is God’s beautiful way of weaving His children into each others' paths, each others’ lives to fulfill His great plans.  And to take it further, she has included her friends who live states away, who are fasting and praying for a family they have never met.  That is powerful stuff!  That is the power of a Heavenly Father!  That is His Spirit vibrantly alive in His children strengthening and encouraging one another to keep moving to keep going! 

We have made some HUGE hurdles the last few weeks.  Let me rephrase this…GOD has conquered some HUGE hurdles for us. 

We have been waiting on our exit Letter from the adoption courts for a year now (in other countries it can take as little as a few weeks).  I got this message from my sweet friend...during that wait last week when we were so close....

My Sweet Friend:  We are praying daily in my classes for Lily and you all.  (She is a teacher…she prays with her students…she makes a difference) The other day I felt a Christ-like “holy anger” in my spirit, and I started to pray out loud in church for the enemy to release any document that has been unjustly delayed, and for this adoption process to move forward.  I believe she’s coming home before this year is over.  That’s my prayer!  Her first Christmas with her loving family!

Friends never underestimate the power of prayer.  We have received our exit letter, and I firmly believe it was the power of her prayer to our Father, who honored her love and trust in Him!

I have a handful of sweet friends and family who continue to encourage, believe and pour into my spirit when I am weary and just can’t keep going.  I stand amazed at the least likely’s God uses to encourage me and strengthen me.  I had a message from another sweet friend who lives about an hour from us.  She adopted a little girl from Africa, and has a heart for the Lord.  She is pouring her time, effort, energy, funds and resources to minister to the people in the country where her daughter came from.  Yet, she wanted my address to send me money for our next trip to minister to the children I have fallen in love with.  That is the power of God…that is the Acts 4:32-37 model.  The believers were one in heart and mind….they shared everything they had.

This has been my last few weeks….the ups and downs have been great and hard.  I haven’t really shared with too many people the steps forward we have taken because with each step forward you have to climb sixteen more flights of stairs, then get in a boat and cross an ocean and then unlock the padlocked boxes to get to the next step in the process with Haiti!  You just get exhausted sharing info only wait longer with no updates.  But I am swallowing my pride and sharing.  We have everything we need for our next medical visa appointment. Through some pretty cool friends in Haiti, along with the Lord’s help they have made the impossible, possible.  We are awaiting our visa appointment now.  I really wasn’t prepared for it to happen next week when we are there, I still don't know if it will but I trust my Lord, and my God. Now let me tell you another story…I know this post is long but bear with me…a lot has happened in our world the last few weeks, and I don’t want to short God on the glory He is due!

I was sitting in a meeting for church.  This sweet man of God began telling us a story from 2 Kings 4.  There was a woman who lost her husband and became a widow.  Her husband owed debt and a bondservant came to enslave her two sons as payment for the debt.  She went to her pastor, Elisha, to seek advice.  He asked if she had anything of worth.  She said, “I have nothing at all, except a little oil.”  Elisha told her to go around town and ask for the empty jars, and not just a few.  Then go inside and shut your door behind you and your two sons. Pour your little bit of oil into all the jars and as each is filled put it to one side.  SHE WAS OBEDIENT.  She did just as he said, no matter how ridiculous it sounded.  Her sons brought her the jars and she kept pouring.  When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.” But he replied, “There is not a jar left.”  Then the oil stopped flowing.  She went and told Elisha what happened and he instructed her to go and sell the oil, and pay off the debts they owed and then her and her sons could live on what was left over.

This story was told to encourage us for another purpose, but the Lord used it to strengthen my soul.  I had given up on this process.  I had given up on miracles happening and the Lord’s ability to work in this situation because it is just almost impossible with Haiti.  It is so broken and confusing and you just can’t win with this country.  Before this meeting, I had tossed in the towel of a miracle happening.  The Lord has told my spirit for the last few months to just prepare.  Prepare for whatever He has for us in the near future.  I have been doing that until last week.  I realized I was being disobedient by not preparing. I was disobedient in the fact that I had lost my hope in God’s power and trust in His ability to secure my future.

So, on Friday, I called my sweet translator friend again, and explained I had a good bit of documents I needed translating before I leave on Thursday... to be prepared for a visa appointment, that I currently don’t have.  Her reply:  “Send them to me, and you are not paying me.  I am in your life for a reason.” So in the hot May sun I had chills from my Father as a reminder that He is at work in all our lives.

She followed up our call with more scripture, 2 Kings 4:26 “All is well”

I got another text from a sweet friend here at home the same day.  It read: Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.  Psalm 55:22 I Hhpe you are having a better night.  Saying the same prayers tonight and believing it will happen.  Love you!!

So I am headed to Haiti next week with empty jars.  I am trusting the Lord to fill them with whatever He chooses.  It's to His Glory whatever happens, but I will trust and hope in Him!

I was able to finally tell my friend I too, believe.   

I believe in God the Father, I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe in the Holy Spirit and He’s given us new life, I believe in the crucifixion, I believe He conquered death, I believe in the resurrection and He’s coming back again.  I believe.  So let my faith be more than anthems, Greater than the songs I sing, And in my weakness and temptation…I BELIEVE!