Trading our junk for His Glory...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.  Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.  This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”  Isaiah 55:8-13

        Our lives are about to change again.  One thing that has been constant over the last four years is change.  Life has changed, and is forever changing and evolving.  Lily has been home almost 8 months.  Some days it feels like she just got home and others it feels like she has been mine for a lifetime.  Early on in this journey I often wondered what God’s plan looked like.  What His thoughts were.  Early on I realized I had no idea, and that it was best just to rely on His thoughts and not my own.  That wasn’t easy.  It hurt more than it helped sometimes, but something beautiful happened along the way…I learned to Trust.  Trust Him, Trust His Plans, Trust His Way.  Because He knew I would get to a place where I didn’t have anything else to rely on but Him, His Plans, and His Way.  And somehow along the way I realized His ways were higher than mine, His thoughts were higher than mine, and that His word would not return empty and void, and if we could just come to a place of trust, His purpose and plans would receive the glory due only to HIM.

        There is a tree in my garden Brad planted for me last summer.  Plants make us fight every summer.  Because every summer I buy plants to look like the Better Homes and Gardens magazine and every fall they die, because I can’t seem to keep things alive.  But this one tree I have kept alive…at least through the winter.  After a week of rain I noticed something this morning.  I noticed small tiny white buds.  Those small tiny white buds will turn into beautiful white flowers that cascade down my weeping tree, like tears of flowers falling to the ground.  I was reminded this morning of how the Lord will bring beauty after a season of winter.  I have spent many seasons sowing tears for Lily.  But over the last eight months, I have seen buds beginning to grow into her life. 

        Now, don’t get me wrong…it’s been hard.  She is tough.  She is a fighter.  She is strong willed, and that is an understatement.  She is determined, she likes to control and she wants things her way.  That is typically a recipe for disaster when you pair that with a mom, who shares the same attributes, and then add a sister who is identical to that mix.  Then, you add a father who is just as strong willed and stubborn but quiet about it.  It makes for an interesting life.  However, God knew what He was doing.  2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far out weights them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  We have had to remind ourselves often, this journey is about change.  Changing who we are, and changing our mindset to become His.  Changing our thoughts to be His, and changing our ways to be His.  We have been given a child who comes from a completely different world.  She was taught completely different things that have become who she is.  She has had to fight for everything.  With her growing vocabulary comes growing problems she shares with us.  With her growing words she lets us in to some of the trauma she has experienced in the life she left behind.  The life she left behind was the only life she knew, so sometimes she also fights to have that life back, because that life didn’t force her to change, to grow and to be molded into something new.  But one thing has stayed constant in all this, my Father.  He hasn’t moved, He hasn’t strayed, His Word has remained the same.  He meets me where I am each day, and walks it with me.  Some days I wonder if I do more damage than good in this world.  Some days I wonder if the things I sow into my children will return beautiful buds or thorns.  Some days I wonder if I will ever get it together.  But as I was reminded this morning in Isaiah that I will be led forth in peace, the mountains will sing and the trees will clap their hands.  Instead of thornbushes, will grow the pine tree and instead of briers, the myrtle will grow.  This will be for His glory and will not be destroyed.  What this tells me is we get to trade our junk for His presence and glory.  Each day we get to trade the ugly of life for His presence and glory.  Each day the bad can be turned to good if we will let Him.  Thorns and briers don’t have to stay…He can turn those into pines and myrtles.  We can trade our junk for His glory.

        Monday our lives will change once again.  Lily will have her first of a series of surgeries to correct her legs.  This will not be easy.  This surgery is every bit outside of what we thought would happen or what we thought we could handle.  I hurt for her.  I hurt for what she will go through.  I have often asked the Lord, why, why was she made this way?  And one day He showed me it was for His glory.  And even in the last few days I have realized, the disease that has disfigured her body and handicapped her was the same disease that saved her and allowed her to become part of our family.  She isn’t fully adopted…we are more than likely years from still finishing that.  But God allowed her disability to be the one thing that gave her clearance for a visa to come home sooner.  All the details aren’t worked out, but I trust in the Alpha and Omega who sees the beginning, the middle, and the end.    

        We were in Haiti last week with dear friends.  And as we were spending time together my sweet friend was telling of a recent visit her dad made to Haiti.  His observation of Haiti was that it was “unfinished.”  That was so true.  Houses are unfinished, the government processes are unfinished, adoptions are unfinished, construction is constantly unfinished, and the roads are unfinished.  I could go on and on about what all is unfinished there, but it got me thinking, I too am unfinished.  I have yet to achieve what the Lord created me to be.  That won’t happen fully until I step into Glory, into my final home, into Eternity where I belong with Him.  And for that I am thankful I am unfinished.  I am thankful I still get to learn and walk with Him.  Because in that walk I realize how Beautiful He really is and how beautiful this life He created just for me is if I let Him in.  Most days with Lily are hard.  I know most pictures show her smiling face.  Her personality is one of true joy, but hidden beneath is brokenness, brokenness that comes with abandonment.  Brokenness that comes with her disease, brokenness that comes from being different than us, brokenness that comes from being ripped out of the world she knew and being forced into a new one with no control.  But in those days the Lord grows me, grows her and grows us.  I pray we are in the budding stage and one day she will realize everything sown will result in freedom and unconditional love.  When she realizes she had a Father who loved her enough to fight for her and rescue her and give her too, eternal life.

        Please be praying for the long road ahead of her.  And be praying as we continue to trade our junk for His glory each day we walk this journey with our Lily.