Speak Lord, for your servant is listening!

“Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.”  1 Samuel 3:9

 

     Throughout this journey I am finding the Lord using this extra time during this process, until we bring our daughter home, to refine me and fine tune me to His liking.  Most of the time I am left humbled and asking the Lord how much more do you need to teach me?  Through a bible study on Sunday our youth pastor used holiness as our measuring stick of who/what we are to strive for as Christians.  We aren’t to use others or even ourselves as measuring sticks, but we are to set our sights on Christ and becoming more like Him.  1 Peter 1:16 says, “Be holy, because I am holy. Once again I was reminded that He is everything, and I am nothing.  So when I find myself asking God, how much more do I need to change before this child comes home, He gently reminds me I am no-where close to perfection, and to keep my eyes on Him, the author and perfecter of our faith!

        There has been a child that has come across our path that Brad and I have felt compelled to pray for.  We are going to the Lord on her behalf and praying her needs are met daily, and that the lord is taking care of her.  I have often found myself sick over praying for this child and her needs, but throughout all these prayers that have been prayed for her, God gently reminded me there is another child that needs my prayers just as much, my sweet Anna Lee.  As we go through this process and have began to look at children that will possibly be in our home, we have been made aware of how pitiful these children’s lives are.  It is heart wrenching and awful what some of these kids have experienced in their short life spans, and I have often found myself seeing how blessed Anna Lee is.  I have found myself pouring my soul out to God on behalf of all these children, but I have forgotten they are His kids too, and He will provide for them and Anna Lee needs just as much prayer as well, but in a different way.

        Last night as I was tucking her in bed she asked me, “When is Jesus going to knock on my door?”  She then asked me what if I don’t hear him momma, and what do I say when He knocks?”  After I choked back tears, I said a quick prayer that God would give me the words that a six year old could understand.  Thanks Aunt Janice for the egg analogy!  That and the story of God calling Samuel quickly came to mind.  We got her bible and together we read the story of Samuel and Eli and how God called out to Samuel.  I told her the story of Hannah, Samuel’s mother, and how she prayed to God for a child and God answered her prayer.  I told her how Hannah had given Samuel back to God for His work.  As I got to the part about Hannah taking Samuel back to the temple to give Him over to God’s plans, Anna Lee stopped me and asked, “Momma why did she give something so special away that she prayed for for so long?”  She was getting it…she understood the price of God’s plans.  As she asked me that question all kinds of thoughts flooded to my mind.  I thought of our sweet girl in Haiti and of her birth mom.  I have often prayed for her mom.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to give up a child, to let someone else take care of them.  It angers me and humbles me all at the same time.  It is possible she gave my daughter up because she couldn’t afford to take care of her.  It is a very poor city, with very poor conditions.  It is possible she gave her up because there is hardly any medical care there, and she knew she would get better care if someone else adopted her.  It is possible she gave her up by God’s plans so that when we bring her home, others can see the Love of God through her.  My soul cried out to God last night on behalf of my Haitian daughter’s birth mother, and on behalf of Anna Lee who is asking lots of questions about her door being opened!  As I tucked her in she asked if I would pray for her that Jesus would knock on her door.  We did and after I cried.  As I prepared for bed God gently reminded me that yes, all these other children needed prayer and they still do, but He has already placed one child in my arms, and she needs the most important prayer of all right now.  Prayer that God will keep calling her and knocking on her door and when the time is His time, she will answer the call.

Lord, Savior, keep knocking on Anna Lee’s door and keep calling her to yourself, and when she is ready to answer help her listen!  And help her momma to remember ALL her children need prayer, and not to forsake the most important one…praying for their salvation!  Amen